mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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