Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
