just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
