is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my being single is dangerous.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
