Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pooping to opera.
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