It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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