Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
