No stitches, just platelets and will power
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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