my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
