Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
