Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
