And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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