I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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