How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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