I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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