I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
