It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
