So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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