Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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