he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
