bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
