Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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