Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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