yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
