I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
