I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
