SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
