yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The adults are the big ones right?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
