He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
