Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
