we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
