White coat. Heels.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize