...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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