I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
