What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
