I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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