Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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