belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
