haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
