Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
