you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
third nipple confirmed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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