Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
