Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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