you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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