Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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