I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
