Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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