Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
zippers are such a cool invention
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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