Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I accidentally burped into my bong.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
