Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
