What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
