i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
